Rocky Rhodes

A hush settles over the crowd as the emcee announces, “And now for the grand prize: an all-expenses-paid premium wedding package at Chateau Oh La La.” Now I realize why there’s such a crush of people around this table. They’re the kallahs, and this prize is every kallah’s dream. Tall kallahs, short kallahs. They may look different, but one thing they have in common: They are all hopeful kallahs. My mother notices me and frowns. Why am I still here? I never win anything anyway. Zilch, zippo, nada. I don’t belong here. The truth hits me hard: I am not a kallah. Don’t speak to twenty-four-year-old Rocky Rhodes about the shidduch crisis. Between her therapy practice, her sheitel macher business, and her fortune cookie company, she barely has time to search for that elusive chasan. Her meddling yet well-meaning rebbetzin-wannabe mother only makes matters worse (“Why do you have so many jobs, sheifeleh? Are you trying to avoid me?”). Will Rocky ever find her bashert? Join Rocky Rhodes and crew as they navigate one absurd complication after another. This farcical novel is full of wacky surprises — so chap arein, and hang on for an uproariously hilarious and rocky ride!